


Goodbye

by scurvaliciousbay



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, F/M, Grief, Sadness, complicated feelings, letting go, loss of a parent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 07:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17018352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scurvaliciousbay/pseuds/scurvaliciousbay
Summary: Katra Hawke says goodbye to her mother in the only way she knows and reflects upon their relationship.





	Goodbye

One of the few things Mother liked about her was her singing voice. It reminded her of the sisters singing in Kirkwall, she’d say. Katra, her little lay sister, except that she is her daughter.

Was.

Katra was perfect in the choirs in the Chantry, her voice strong and resonant. It filled the Chantry with joy at Andraste’s triumphs, and it was full of sorrow at her ultimate defeat. When her magic surfaced and began to bubble out with her voice, she had to stop going to the Chantry. Mother didn’t want to hear her voice after that, lest the Templars or guards hear…they had the twins to think about.

But more than magic, Katra’s soul is tied to her voice, to her singing. And so she’d run into the woods surrounding their home and sing there, first the Chant, then other songs. And soon she was making her own little songs about the world she lived in. She sang about her magic, how she loved her magic and she loved being a mage because it made her feel closer to the Maker.

Decidedly seditious stuff.

When they ran to Kirkwall to flee the Darkspawn, Katra stopped singing for the year, only humming, whistling sometimes. Her voice is not quiet and she knew that she needed quiet to keep her and what was left of her family safe.

Then came the Deep Roads expedition, and in those depths she sang. She sang a beautiful song for Varric and Aveline and Fenris. Varric had paused in taking his notes for once, stopped leering and raving about the damn idol and his brother, and simply listened. Aveline leaned back against the stone and stared at the dark. But Fenris…Fenris  _watched_ her like he had never watched her before. His green eyes intense and ears still as he focused all of his attention on her. Shivers ran down  _her_  spine from the attention, and at the end he complimented her voice. He said that he had not known she was so gifted with this art.

Upon returning to Kirkwall and the reclamation of the estate (and her brother joining the Templars), Katra swore to never be quiet again. She walked back into the Chantry and filled the space with the most beautiful rendition of her favorite section of the Chant of Light…during a sermon. Several sisters cried, Sebastian suffered an unfortunate arousal event that had him seeking confession the next day. Katra was then asked if she could come sing the Chant when she could and she agreed. At home, she sang, filling the estate with her voice and magic.

Mother was startled at first, to hear Katra singing again, particularly since it was all the music that Katra made herself. All of the little love songs she made when thinking about her first love, Maureen, and all the songs that waxed on about the beauty of her magic.

But while Mother was surprised, she was…supportive in her own way. She eventually began to hum along and remarked what a shame it was that the pox got poor Maureen. Katra had a goodbye song about that, specifically for Maureen. On the anniversary of her death, Katra sang it mournfully and Mother was respectful.

She was not respectful when she began to set Katra up with the local sons of lords. Katra frowned at the polished men, finding their coiffed appearances rather unsettling, particularly since she was often still dabbing off blood from one of her late night exploits.

The following days, Katra sang loud sailor songs about women with large breasts. Sure, she liked men, but not  _those_  men, and really, only one man in particular so far. A man with piercing green eyes and a deep voice with a heartwrenching passion…. Alright, that was bad. Fenris, for all his flaws, was simply amazing to her. She considered them friends, even if their agreements were sometimes more tenuous than not, but they drank together fairly frequently, and they laughed a good bit too. She told him stories of Ferelden, and he told her the rumors he had picked up in Tevinter – or he made shit up. Either way, they enjoyed each other’s company when it didn’t involve Templars or Mages.

When Katra finally conveyed this thought to Mother, she had simply nodded and sighed.

“You’re more like me than I ever though you would be,” she said wistfully and Katra thought she understood then…but it is not until now that she truly understands.

She stares at the pyre, flames licking up into the sky as Leandra Amell Hawke is returned to the Maker. She thinks about the life her mother led, how…unabashed she was. Leandra Amell ran away from home with a Fereldan apostate, had three children with him, and not once did she return to her cushy estate. She stayed in the dirt and the mud, slightly resentful that she was removed, but ultimately glad. Leandra Amell gave way to Leandra Hawke, a slightly harsher, more rounded woman. And then she became Leandra Amell again, and acknowledged the similarities between her and her admittedly estranged daughter.

Katra closes her eyes and opens her mouth, letting words of mourning spill from her lips. She wrote the piece that morning, filled it with melancholy…but she looked at it later and revised it, inserting words of gratitude and understanding.

They were always more alike than they had thought or even given themselves credit for. Both unrelenting in who they are, both falling in love with people their parents would probably not prefer…both ultimately loving. And while Leandra Amell was far from perfect, she was Katra’s mother.

_Is_  Katra’s mother. And she’s with the Maker now, safe and whole, with the man she loves and the daughter she isn’t estranged from.

Katra lifts her hand up to the sky as she sings, tears falling down her face.

_Goodbye, Mother. I will see you again, someday, and I will tell you everything_.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
